1 09.09.2011 Fwd: Promise Myself Tuesday, October 4, 2011 7:47 PM
"ramanujam kishore"
2 1.11.2011 Fwd: Fw: [viswanathan] Fw: Fwd: Fw: 5 minute mgt. course [1 Attachment]
Sunday, October 30, 2011 5:29 AM
From: "C R Sankaran" crsankaran1938@gmail.com*
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 09.09.2011
Tuesday, October 4, 2011 7:47 PM
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------11.2011 2 1.11.2011 Fwd: Fw: [viswanathan] Fw: Fwd: Fw: 5 minute mgt. course [1 Attachment]
Sunday, October 30, 2011 5:29 AM
From: "C R Sankaran" crsankaran1938@gmail.com*
Lesson 1:**
*
*A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower, when the doorbell rings.*
*The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.*
*When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.*
*Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'*
*After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in
front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.*
*The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.*
*When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'*
*'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.*
*'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'
*
*Moral of the story:*
*If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your
shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable
exposure.*
*Lesson 2:*
*A priest offered a Nun a lift.*
*She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.*
*The priest nearly had an accident.*
*After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.*
*The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'*
*The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up
her leg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'*
*The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'*
*Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.*
*On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It
said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'*
*Moral of the story:*
*If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great
opportunity.*
*Lesson 3:**
*
*A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch
when they find an antique oil lamp.*
*They rub it and a Genie comes out.*
*The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'*
*'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas,
driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'*
*Puff! She's gone.*
*'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing
on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas
and the love of my life.'*
*Puff! He's gone.*
*'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.*
*The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'*
*Moral of the story:*
*Always let your boss have the first say.*
*Lesson 4**
*
*An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.*
*A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do
nothing?'*
*The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'*
*So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a
sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.*
*Moral of the story:To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting
very, very high up.*
*Lesson 5**
*
*A turkey was chatting with a bull.*
*'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey,
'but I haven't got the energy.'*
*'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull.
They're packed with nutrients.'*
*The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough
strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.*
*The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.*
*Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of
the tree.*
*He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.*
*Moral of the story:Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep
you there..*
*Lesson 6*
*A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird
froze and fell to the ground into a large field.*
*While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.*
*As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize
how warm he was.*
*The dung was actually thawing him out!*
*He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.A passing
cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.*
*Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow
dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.*
*Morals of the story:*
*(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.*
*(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your*
* friend.*
*(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep*
* your mouth shut!*
* THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"ramanujam kishore"
2 1.11.2011 Fwd: Fw: [viswanathan] Fw: Fwd: Fw: 5 minute mgt. course [1 Attachment]
Sunday, October 30, 2011 5:29 AM
From: "C R Sankaran" crsankaran1938@gmail.com*
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 09.09.2011
Fwd: Promise Myself
From:
"ramanujam kishore"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------11.2011 2 1.11.2011 Fwd: Fw: [viswanathan] Fw: Fwd: Fw: 5 minute mgt. course [1 Attachment] Sunday, October 30, 2011 5:29 AM
From: "C R Sankaran" crsankaran1938@gmail.com*
Lesson 1:**
*
*A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower, when the doorbell rings.*
*The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.*
*When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.*
*Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'*
*After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in
front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.*
*The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.*
*When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'*
*'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.*
*'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'
*
*Moral of the story:*
*If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your
shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable
exposure.*
*Lesson 2:*
*A priest offered a Nun a lift.*
*She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.*
*The priest nearly had an accident.*
*After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.*
*The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'*
*The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up
her leg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'*
*The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'*
*Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.*
*On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It
said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'*
*Moral of the story:*
*If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great
opportunity.*
*Lesson 3:**
*
*A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch
when they find an antique oil lamp.*
*They rub it and a Genie comes out.*
*The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'*
*'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas,
driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'*
*Puff! She's gone.*
*'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing
on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas
and the love of my life.'*
*Puff! He's gone.*
*'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.*
*The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'*
*Moral of the story:*
*Always let your boss have the first say.*
*Lesson 4**
*
*An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.*
*A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do
nothing?'*
*The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'*
*So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a
sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.*
*Moral of the story:To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting
very, very high up.*
*Lesson 5**
*
*A turkey was chatting with a bull.*
*'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey,
'but I haven't got the energy.'*
*'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull.
They're packed with nutrients.'*
*The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough
strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.*
*The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.*
*Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of
the tree.*
*He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.*
*Moral of the story:Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep
you there..*
*Lesson 6*
*A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird
froze and fell to the ground into a large field.*
*While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.*
*As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize
how warm he was.*
*The dung was actually thawing him out!*
*He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.A passing
cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.*
*Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow
dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.*
*Morals of the story:*
*(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.*
*(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your*
* friend.*
*(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep*
* your mouth shut!*
* THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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